My Five New Boyfriends!

I am seeing 5 gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up, 
Will Power

Helps me get out of bed .....




Then I go to see John. (Actually I see John a lot, even at night)

Then Charley Horse comes along 
and when he is here,
he takes a lot of my time and attention.

 When he leaves, 
Arthur Ritis 
shows up and stays the rest of the day. 
He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, 
so he takes me from joint to joint.

After such a busy day,

I'm really tired and glad

To go to bed with

Ben Gay 

What a life! 

Oh yes, I'm also flirting with 
Al Zymer. 

Sometimes I think of calling 
Jack Daniels and Johnny Walker
to come and keep me company.

 Jose Cuervo and Jim Beam 
have been with me for a while now. 

Now remember: Life is like a roll of toilet paper.....
the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. 

So have fun, think "good thoughts" only, 
learn to laugh at yourself, 

and Count your blessings!

Today's quote: Talk about getting old. I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade ~ Joan Rivers

What Will Happen When The Queen Dies?

The Queen is older than my mum, she's 91 which is a great age. What will happen when she passes away? Even though I'm an Australian, it will seem strange when the old dear is no longer around, I mean she's always been there. She was the Queen when I was a little girl, we had the British national anthem as our anthem and every time you heard it being played, you had to stand up. Which annoyed me no end. You'd be at the pictures with mum and dad sitting down, and just before the film was about to begin, God Save the Queen was played and of course you had to stand up.

Seats at the pictures were different then, dark red leather, not soft and cushy, and if you stood up, your seat flipped up and whacked you on the back of the legs. You can see why I wasn't happy about that. When I asked my mum why did I have to stand up, mum replied, "Because when God Save The Queen is played you must stand up and show respect."

I remember being annoyed and telling mum she wasn't my queen and why should I have to stand up for some old bat thousands of miles away? I grew up hating the old bat and never really developed sympathetic feelings for her. I mean now that I'm all "growed" up and I'm an adult, I know about respect, awe, honour and the rest, but it's funny because if you grow up thinking certain things all your life, it's not easy to magic away your thinking even though you know it to be childish.

Anyway getting back to the gut of this post, I wonder what will happen when the Queen passes away? I suppose Charlie boy will become the next monarch - King Charles III (he should keep in mind what happened to the previous kings named Charles) and I suppose the poor Brits will be stuck with that Camilla woman as his helpmate? Charles wouldn't make her Queen I hope, why even his own father who was born with the title of Prince was never called  King - he was always Prince Philip or the Duke of Edinburgh. I make no bones about not liking that Camilla woman.

Melbourne’s About To Cop A Lone 30-Degree Day Before It Turns To Shit Again

Melbourne's About To Cop A Lone 30-Degree Day Before It Turns To Shit Again

- so shouted the headlines on a google search for Melbourne's weather temp on Friday. Going to the page Pedestrian TV , it was a good read - entertaining and useful. Check it out.

The Good Wife Guide

Coming across this little gem, I just had to post about it. It's from a magazine called Housekeeping Monthly. Or so I have read. Whether there really was a magazine of that name and whether or not this article really was published in a magazine of some sixty plus years ago in a magazine that may or may not have existed, I have no doubt that young girls were taught their place was in the home and they didn't need to fill their heads with science, mathematics and other hard to understand "stuff", they wouldn't need it! They would get married and raise a family and their place was in the home.

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

5. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

6. During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

7. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces, comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

8. Be happy to see him.

9. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

10. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

11. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
12. Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

13. Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

14. Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

15. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

16. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

17. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

And remember - A good wife always knows her place.

Quote of the day ~ A Good Wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Celebrating Spring

It is Spring, the birds are singing, the daffs are nodding their heads, the trees sway in the gentle breeze, the sky is  gently blue with white fluffy clouds, the first ladybird has ventured out, the lacewings are hovering and the bees are busy flitting from flower to flower to make honey. Sounds wonderful yes?

HAH! It may be Spring but the reality is one day of lovely blue skies, then rain, freezing cold wind, the type that bites when Mister Wind snakes his way around and finds every bit of exposed skin, the daffs are not swaying their pretty heads, they have decided they are either too shy, or the bloody cold wind decapitated them! And as for the birds! Birds do what they always do.

Yes friends, it may Spring down here in Terra Australis or "Downunder" but it doesn't make a bit of difference to the weather. Not until late October and then only for a bit here and there. The fact of the matter is (as Mary Poppins was wont to say), the fact of the matter is, spring in Melbourne is usually bloody cold and wet with cold strong winds.

Anyway just to remind me it IS spring, here's my favourite song to celebrate Spring.

Buying Souvenirs

Do you buy things for family and friends when you travel? When you go overseas? Or when you go on holiday locally? Me? I have learnt by experience what not to do.

I remember being asked by a family member's friend could I please bring back an ashtray, preferably of wood. Took quite a while to find one. Never again.

On my first trip to SEA, I bought back some lovely hand-made silk items - spectacle glass cases, coin purses etc. One of the coin purses was left on son's desk. His girlfriend didn't want it. I did think that was rather rude - she should at least have taken the damn gift, even if she didn't use it.

Now, I just buy fridge magnets. There are specific members who say I don't want any fridge magnets. They get nothing.

I love fridge magnets and will always buy myself one from each country I visit. I have quite a collection now, in fact there are so many on my fridge, the fridge looks downright messy. I really should have bought ones that matched but then I wasn't that smart, I just bought the one that caught my eye at the time.

Quite a few are those chunky breakable ones only because I wasn't able to find another kind. They are lovely but they do break if they fall. My Viet Nam magnet is still sitting on the shelf in two pieces waiting to be glued back together!

Trump Stupidity

Australians, forget America, what happens over there is for the American people, not Australians and if you think America thinks we are important enough for them to take notice of us, then you're living in fantasy land. We are just a pimple on an elephant's backside to the US. Stop grovelling.

While sitting at Chloe's Bar with friends on Saturday afternoon, I noticed a largish group of people walking in the middle of the road. They looked what my father would have called a "bunch of no hopers". Relating the incident to family later, I said they weren't our sort of people - they looked like a bunch of ratbags. This raggle taggle group of people were protesting about Donald Trump being elected President of the USA.

Above: Photo of protesters, taken from window at Young & Jackson's overlooking Swanston Street

What a load of rubbish - this is Australia, not America. Today, I did a google search to find out more and found this -

Protesters gather in Melbourne to protest against election of Donald Trump

"F--- Trump and Hanson too, we're going to fight them through and through." So chanted about 80 protesters on the Flinders Street station steps in an anti-Donald Trump rally that followed a string of largely student-led demonstrations across the US.

The crowd that included socialists, Latinos, feminists, LGBT people, anarchists and unionists - many of whom were university students - gathered for the rally on Saturday, which was organised by the Monash Student Association. Source

Hah! What do you expect? I said they looked like a bunch of ratbags and I was right. Anarchists and unionists indeed! They should get a life these people and stop carrying on like two bob watches because they don't like something. Big deal, life isn't always fair - get over it.